WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
