I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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