arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
