I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
