its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
did you just send me my own nude
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize
