i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
