that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
