its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
