Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
