He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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