The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize