why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
