Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
