Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
