its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
