what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
