She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
