i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Well I just put wine in my tea
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize