he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
