I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i think i have herpe
just one?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
