i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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