How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I want a musical about memes.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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