I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
