but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
