WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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