I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
