im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
