so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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