watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
