dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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