how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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