Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
