I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
