What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
