Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
