Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
