Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
