i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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