I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize