i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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