do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
