yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
