I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
