Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Be still, my beating vagina.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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