Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I FOUND THE LEGS
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
