If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
