I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
