Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
