There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'm like, not good at living.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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