# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
