When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
