I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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