Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
