soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
it was like having sex with a tree stump
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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