Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
