He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I want a musical about memes.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
