i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize