im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
