Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Are my feet made of real feet?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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