I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
My pussy is not your playground.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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