Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
